Ava's Two Truths and a Lie

My life really just isn't that interesting. Sure, I travel far more frequently than I did when I was younger, but nothing ever happens on those trips. This is the best I could come up with. Take your best guesses . . . it shouldn't be that hard.

Numero Uno: The first time that I met the Frequent Flyer was in chemistry class, but the first time I remember meeting the Frequent Flyer was in our service fraternity’s office for an interview (I was pledging and he was active). The Frequent Flyer stepped onto the rather large conference table, walked across it, put his hand on my head to steady himself, and lowered into a chair. We started our interview with the normal chit-chat (what’s your major, how do you like it here) when he discovered where my hometown was. Turns out he has a cousin who lives there and do I know him? My first thought is, “There are 60 thousand other folks who live there; I’m sure I don’t know your cousin, dude.” Through the course of events, we find out I do know his cousin (went to school with him, got him a job slinging ice cream, bit his tongue). It was a lovely conversation, really made an impact, blah blah blah. Over the next few weeks, I would see him once and a while in the office. One evening, he comes up and says, “Why are you such a bitch in the morning?” Me? A bitch in the morning? This one threw me for a loop because I never saw him in the morning so I asked what he was getting at. He says, “Every morning, I come in for breakfast at north quad’s dining hall and you are taking down numbers. I try to be friendly and make conversation, but you blow me off.” Turns out I thought he lived off campus and couldn’t figure out who this weirdo was chatting me up before I had had enough time to drink my coffee. Never made that mistake again!

Numero Dos: Lola and I have a huge extended family . . . one that we actually enjoy being with. When our cousin in Atlanta got married, we knew it would be a big to-do: great hotel, great party, great stories. We started noticing that things were a little odd at the hotel when people dressed in latex and as Sailor Moon started getting on our elevators at regular intervals. Turns out there was an anime convention at the hotel, and it was only going to get weirder. Later that night, we took the Metro to our aunt’s in Buckhead for the rehearsal dinner. Lola and I checked with Daddy-o to make sure he could drive us back to the hotel since we were planning on drinking heavily (it’s a family thing). No problem, says Daddy-o. About ten vodka tonics later, we go to find Daddy-o. He forgot about the promise and started drinking himself. The only thing we could do was drag ourselves back to the hotel, but we were so tanked, we weren’t sure we knew which way to go. Enter the wise and sober 9-year-olds to the rescue: Betty and Veronica. Thanks to the girls, we got back to the hotel in one piece and were able to witness: three girls in matching ninja costumes falling on their faces in the middle of a six lane road, several ladies leading their “mates” around on leashes, talking some sense into my cousin who wasn't too sure she wanted to get married (also more than a little tipsy), another cousin stopping several convention goers from appearing on the wedding video, and Daddy-o surviving a gun being pulled on him (that is another story).

Numero Tres: Betty and Veronica are twins. If you haven’t figured that out by now, shame on you. They aren’t identical, but they are close enough that Daddy-o has a hard time with them on occasion. We were living in Michigan at the time and were at a mall sinc the living arrangements weren’t so hot (living arrangements were actually in a hotel the Frequent Flyer was managing at the time), so any time away from the place was a godsend. The girls were little, maybe two, and were hungry. Not wanting a full blown temper tantrum on our hands, we ducked into a fast food place and got kid friendly food for everyone. Half way through the “meal,” the Frequent Flyer says, “I want to get out of here. That woman keeps staring at the girls and she’s giving me the creeps.” I turn around just in time to see a middle aged woman quickly put her head down and begin showing way too much attention to her fries. We hurried out of the restaurant but couldn’t seem to shake the woman. After about the third store of her following us, the Frequent Flyer had had enough and went over to talk to the woman. Thankfully the Frequent Flyer got to the woman before I did because I had the mace ready (hey, it was close to Detroit, cut me some slack). She got all flustered and pulled out a business card. Turns out she was a talent/booking agent for Emergency 911 and was always looking for twins to play the role of children featured on the show. We took the girls in for an audition and the rest is history. Betty and Veronica were featured in several of the productions in the early ‘90s. Sadly, they never got to meet Mr. Shatner. His scenes were filmed away from children for some reason.